When?

 My most common question of the day is when am I going to start feeling ok. Recently the ex has been on my mind, a feeling of inadequacy of 'should haves and could haves.' Not the best nor efficient feeling yet here we are. In addition to this said feeling, a couple of changes recently have occurred ie. taking a break from halau, cutting 4 inches off my hair, changing jobs, etc.... I'm shifting. Shifting into what? and when will it settle? I would like to say when will I feel like me again, of expansiveness, security, and excitement. These are lacking as of late. Perhaps the crush with the inappropriate circumstance is a distraction, one that brings forth another dimension of me that I was not ready for. I would like to look at me without distraction and figure things out. Halau sisters asked me if I am ok. The best I can give them is I don't know and I truly don't know. I'm going through some things but I cannot even pinpoint what those things are. It has been different since coming back from Asia. That is the fact. I'm journaling to see what it could be. Am I coming into my own? What does it look like? Or am I just coming into another version of me. What does that look like. I stay open to opportunities.