It's been years, years that I have been fully awaken. Unexpectedly awaken. Not just of the default of lust and physical attraction but of progressive mental acuity that stampeded my unrealized realization. All my recently awaken tentacles are desiring more, more than I can provide given the circumstance. A familiar circumstance because he is in a position of power. This repeated situation warrants caution. I have been infatuated for the last few days, a tribute to selfishness and self-absorption. Unsettling in the least. As long as there is a disparity in the power dynamic, I do not wish to engage in that interaction. It doesn't lend to a fruitful ending.
Another thing I recently considered is that this might be a one way street. I have no idea if he has any attraction for me. I am grateful for this distraction, that I am still able to feel and that there is still people out there that are evolved and self-aware. It gives me and my shiftless tentacles something to look forward to in life!
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